Energy Drain

Sometimes when your child misbehaves, it is difficult to find a natural consequence to apply. The Energy Drain approach is the perfect solution to give us a practical way of creating logical consequences that teach responsibility. Simply stated, the child or teen is required to replace energy “drained” from the adult by their misbehavior.

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The parent could say, “That is so sad. When you _______, it drains my energy.” Fill in the blank with the inappropriate action that the child did, i.e. arguing, fight with a sibling, lying, etc. The next step would be “How are you going to put my energy back in?” If the child says, “Don’t know,” you ask if they would like some ideas. When they agree, you might say, “Well, some kids decide to clean the bathroom or wash some dishes or clean up the backyard. Those are energy builders. How would one of those work for you?” Of course, the suggestions must be age appropriate. You can offer to show them how to do the task if needed.

If the child completes the chores, thank them and don’t lecture. If they refuse, don’t reprimand. Instead, you can remind them that before you can drive them to soccer practice or their friend’s house, or before using the computer or watch a favorite show, the energy needs to be replenished.

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