Honesty

Do you remember hearing about a Kenyan runner Abel Mutai who was leading the cross-country race at an event in Burlada Savarre, Spain in December 2012? He was just a few feet from the finish line, but became confused with the signage and stopped, thinking he had completed the race. A Spanish runner, Ivan Fernandez, was right behind him and, realizing what was happening, started shouting at the Kenyan to continue running. Mutai didn't know Spanish and didn't understand. Realizing what was taking place, Fernandez pushed Mutai to victory. A journalist asked Ivan, "Why did you do that?" Ivan replied, "My dream is that someday we can have a kind of community life where we push and help each other to win."

The journalist insisted, "But why did you let the Kenyan win?" Ivan replied, "I didn't let him win, he was going to win. The race was his." The journalist insisted again, "But you could have won!" Ivan looked at him and replied, "But what would be the merit of my victory? What would be the honor in that medal? What would my mother think of that?"

Values are passed on from generation to generation. What values are we teaching our children? In her recent book, "The Truth About Lying: Teaching Honesty to Children at Every Age and Stage," Victoria Talwar, PhD writes about how we can teach children about honesty, how we can deal with our children’s dishonesty, and how we can develop a close relationship based on open and truthful communication. She says there are three steps to raising more honest kids.

• Talk with kids about what honesty is using stories, books, and calm conversations. Ask questions and make it a dialogue, not a lecture.
• Acknowledging and recognizing honesty when we see it is an important and powerful way to foster truthfulness. If used with sincerity and mindfulness, acknowledgement and praise are powerful tools for fostering children’s honesty and their internalization of this standard of behavior.
• Model honesty--if we want our children to be honest, we must show them how to be honest. Matching our deeds to our words is more powerful than words alone.           

To read more from Victoria Talwar, PhD:                                                                      greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/three_steps_to_teach_children_about_honesty

Let us teach our kids the right ways and means to win and live with honesty and integrity. Let us pass on the beauty and humanity of a helping hand. Because honesty and ethics are winning!"

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