Learning Better Ways to Communicate--Safe Conversations

Listening to respond is the standard way that most of us communicate. What that means is that instead of really paying attention to what the other person is saying with their words and body language, we are already thinking about how we want to reply or what our rebuttal will be. The good news is that relationships skills and better ways to communicate can be taught.

It isn’t instinctive to slow down and take the steps necessary to really understand another person. It begins with being present to my partner, my child, friend, or co-worker. Creating connections is what gives us purpose and meaning in our lives. Connection is the foundation for communication and for experiencing the greatest joy within our relationships.

We can learn to listen to understand, and experience being truly heard as well. In the process, we can experience a greater sense of connection and belonging with others. I have experienced this through Safe Conversations® which was co-created by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D. They’ve taken their experience working with couples for 40+ years and simplified best practices so all relationships can have greater connection, understanding, empathy and respect.

When I first attended a Safe Conversations® workshop:

• I learned that a relationship consists of two people and the space between—their relationship.
• What I put into that space between myself and my child or my partner--positive energy or negativity and putdowns—impacts our relationship.
• I discovered just how much negativity I was putting into my relationships through participating in the Zero Negativity Challenge for 30 days.
• Striving for Zero Negativity was difficult but making this commitment created safety within my relationships and I learned to replace negativity with appreciation which brings gratitude and connection.

​Beginning with the understanding that differences of opinions and choices in life are inevitable, we can learn to better navigate our relationships with our partner, our children, parents, friends and more. Accept that the person you’re talking with has triggers just like you do and that you can choose not to pull those triggers. Accept that conflict is inevitable, but how we manage it makes all the difference.

Learning to use this structured dialogue process enabled me to have honest authentic conversations and connect more deeply with my husband, sons and other family members and friends. When I discovered that my frustrations were really wishes in disguise, I could change my focus from what I didn’t have into what I wanted and desired. My personal experience with Safe Conversations® led me to become a trained facilitator, teaching the process in workshops and coaching sessions. 

Consider experiencing this amazing process for yourself. I invite you to join the free two hour Safe Conversations webinar on Sunday, May 18, 2025, 10 am to 12 pm PT/1 to 3 pm ET/7-9 pm CET. Register here for the zoom link: tinyurl.com/Safe-Conversations-May-18-2025

​Take a look at this two minute testimony of a Safe Conversations' facilitator and her father on how it changed their relationship: youtu.be/QsiO8Ve091k?si=uRLDzZJmp1SSnVfK