Little Things Matter More Than We Realize

We teach our children to read, write, clean-up after themselves, and how to behave as best we can. But we don’t always teach the things that protect their confidence, boundaries, and self-worth--some of the areas that people struggle with most in adulthood.

• Being able to say clearly and respectfully, “I don’t like that" is empowering.
• “I feel ___ right now.” Learning to dentify and name feelings develops greater self-awareness.
• Enabling a child to learn to trust their instincts strengthens their inner voice. Support them in saying, “That doesn’t feel right to me."
• Learning to pause and digest instead of reacting by saying, “Can I have a minute?”
• “Can you help me?” Asking for help is strength, not weakness.
• Learning to make mistakes helps identify that they are part of the learning process. Saying, “I made a mistake. I’ll try again" minimizes guilt and shame and instills the message that mistakes don’t define me.
• Being able to say, “I’m going to go play somewhere else" gives a child the power to walk away from disrespect.
• “I’m sorry. Can we fix this?” Repair matters more than being right.
• Kindness doesn’t mean people-pleasing. “I want to help, but I can’t right now.”
• “I don’t agree, but I’ll be respectful.” You can disagree without being unkind.

Being intentional in creating a family culture that supports greater self-awareness, relationship skills, confidence in their self-worth, and the inner compass that will serve them their whole life is foundational. For ideas about how to include this in your family, consider having regular family meetings: 
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The reality is that a lot of us are still learning to include these basic skills at 30, 40, or even 70 or 80. It is never too late to discover better ways of relating and connecting in heart with those that we care about and supporting our own feelings of self-worth. It begins with awareness and acknowledging that there are areas in my life that I would like to improve and pick one from the above list to get started. Get curious about how your relationships could become better. Ask more questions of others. Read books and practice incorporating these phrases into your life.

If you are a parent of young children or planning to have children, I recommend reading my book, 7 Gifts to Give Your Child. 

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