Presence Is Love

A few years ago, I found myself in a multi-leveled parking garage at a public transportation station, walking around clicking my remote to try to locate my car. That morning, in my haste to arrive at my destination on time, I had failed to make note of which level and section I had parked in. After 20 minutes, I heard the faint beep several levels below. I had finally located my car!

Once in my car and on my way home, I began to think about how this incident applies to my daily life. How often have I not been present to my husband because I was caught up in getting a project completed? When was the last time that I missed the cues in my son’s voice as he wanted to tell me more about the challenges of balancing work, life, and family? How many times over the years have I missed opportunities to stop what I was doing and get down beside my child to play, comfort, or support? Wasn’t it just yesterday that I had complained about the tension in my shoulders without realizing that I was not making enough time for self-care?

In May of 2019, the ABC network aired a special called “Screen Time,” hosted by Diane Sawyer, which looked at how smartphones are affecting us. One preschooler conveyed the immense importance of presence when he was observed going to his mother, who was talking on a cell phone, taking her face in his hands and saying, “Mommy, I need you to listen to me with your whole face.”

Children learn more from who we are when we are with them than what we try to teach them. We don’t need to be perfect, but showing up and being present means noticing the little things, learning to put down our cell phones, and really listening. We can provide presence when we’re meeting their needs, when we’re expressing our love to them, when we’re disciplining them, when we’re laughing together, and even when we’re arguing with them.

Who needs your presence this week?