 Recently, I heard a story about how a parent handled a mistake that her daughter made. The girl had dropped a glass that shattered across the hard floor and her face illuminated the horror she felt.
Rather than focusing on the mess on the floor, the mother picked up the girl and carried her to safety. Then she said, "You feel bad, don't you? Many times I have made you feel ashamed when you made mistakes by frowning, raising my voice or saying hurtful words. I want you to know that I was wrong to do that. You needed me to love you and I was mean. I am sorry." Then the mother took her daughter to a mirror, asked her to look at her reflection and said, "Do you know what I see? I see my lovely daughter who tries to do the right thing. Sometimes she isn't paying attention and she makes mistakes. But you are not a mistake, you are beautiful and I love you just the way you are. Let me give you a hug and then, let's go clean up the broken glass." I was struck with how important it is for us as parents and grandparents to convey to our children/grandchildren that they are so much more than their mistakes and broken parts. They receive this message constantly from the culture around that no one will love them as they are and so they pretend they are someone else by hiding behind the latest shoes, clothing, makeup, friends, trends and gadgets. It reminded me of the song from The Greatest Showman "This Is Me." It begins: I'm not a stranger to the dark Hide away, they say 'Cause we don't want your broken parts I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars Run away, they say No one will love you as you are But I won't let them break me down to dust I know that there's a place for us For we are glorious When the sharpest words wanna cut me down I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown 'em out I am brave, I am bruised I am who I'm meant to be, this is me Look out 'cause here I come And I'm marching on to the beat I drum I'm not scared to be seen I make no apologies, this is me... There is much more to this powerful song. You can hear it sung by Keala Settle and others from the movie at the link below. In fact, if you haven't seen The Great Showman movie, I highly recommend it. Even if you have seen it, rewatch it with your middle school and older kids and have a discussion about who we are. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjxugyZCfuw I believe that for many of us, we still have feelings, wounds and beliefs hidden away that cause us to feel ashamed of our mistakes and broken parts. We cannot give to others what we don't recognize and honor within ourselves. To reclaim the power of unconditional love, we have to start with ourselves. |