Lessons from a Chandelier

Recently, my husband and I have been preparing to sell our house in Georgia.  After de-cluttering and a lot of cleaning, our agent was walking through the place with us and making recommendations about possible changes.  She mentioned replacing the chandelier that hangs in our two-story foyer. 

I was thinking, “What’s wrong with the light? It works fine and seems OK to me.” However, my extremely resourceful and handy husband pulled the light over to the second-floor balcony to have a look. He cleaned every inch of the glass and replaced the light bulbs. It was amazing—the chandelier looks the best it ever has and it definitely didn’t need to be replaced!

As I was admiring it that evening, I realized that our experience with the chandelier has applications to our lives.  Sometimes, we get busy with the daily details and forget to pay attention to our relationships with those we love the most. They get dusty and gather cobwebs as we rush to get things done. We miss the precious moments to stop and say a kind word or touch a shoulder because we are so focused on what we need to do. Our connection and our lives lose some of their brightness. And we wonder what happened, how we got here and where the time went.

After many years of research, Dr. Brene Brown says in Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, “I am sure of one thing: Connection is why we’re here;  it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. . . . Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement.” 

That connection is what we create when we pay attention to each other and invest in our relationships with our partners, children, parents, grandparents and friends. Even when we are not physically together, we can send a text, share a joke, find time to video chat or write an email.

Currently I am in training to become a Safe Conversations facilitator and the founders, Harville Hendrix, PhD, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD state that a relationship is two (or more) people and the “space between” them. What we put into the space between impacts the quality of our connection. Using a dialogue process, affirmations and a commitment to practicing “zero negativity,” I am learning to support individuals as they deepen their connection with each other and find greater joy and wonder in their lives. 

​If you are interested in knowing more, check the website safeconversations.com/  I will be offering a Safe Conversations class in November after relocating to Northern California. Let me know if you would like to be on the list or would like more information Contact Me

          The more light we allow into our lives and our relationships, the brighter our world will be.

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