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Fall in Love with the Outdoors

9/22/2023

 
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Did you know the average North American child now spends about seven hours a day staring at screens and mere minutes engaged in unstructured play outdoors? Yet recent research indicates that experiences in nature are essential for healthy growth. Regular exposure to nature can help relieve stress, depression, and attention deficits. It can reduce bullying, combat obesity, and boost academic scores. Most critical of all, abundant time in natural settings seems to yield long-term benefits in kids’ cognitive, emotional, and social development.  Of course, spending time outdoors is important for adults as well!

Growing up, Scott Sampson—the paleontologist and CEO of Science World in Vancouver, Canada — went on annual camping trips to the Rocky Mountains with his family. However, he said in a recent TED talk, “This was not where I fell in love with nature. That happened close to home — looking for rocks in the backyard, playing kick-the-can in the neighborhood, bushwhacking in the local forest.” 

Sampson recommends three steps we can take with our children to connect with nature.
  • Notice:  Take time to see what is around us when we step outside of our homes.  Look at the sky and notice the clouds, see the many variations of the color green on a walk, ask questions like “What does the air feel like?” or “Did you hear that bird in our backyard?” We impact the future when we value and care about the natural world together with our children because they value what we value.
  • Engage: Allow kids the time to interact with nature whether it is collecting sticks, throwing rocks into a pond or taking an adventure (hike) together. Tell them about your own experiences and memories—apple-picking a local farm, growing pumpkins in your garden, seeing an eclipse, or using binoculars to look at birds. Check out books from the library to help them find out more information on things that they are interested—"Why do crickets chirp?” “Where do birds go when it rains?” or “What kind of cloud is that?”
  • Wonder: When it comes to the natural world, Sampson says that love and wonder should go hand in hand — if we want our children to connect with it, they need to have the chance to be captivated by it. He says, “You can give them amazing experiences like harvesting and eating plants that they themselves planted and nurtured.” 
As parents, we are always aware of the potential dangers of exploring nature whether it is our child having a close encounter with poison ivy or a snake, getting too close to rushing water or climbing high into the branches of an inviting tree. As you choke back the words “Be Careful!” consider these tips that can help foster awareness and problem solving in your child. Say:
  • Notice how…these rocks are slippery, that branch is strong.
  • Do you see---the poison ivy, your friends nearby?
  • Try moving…your feet carefully, quickly, strongly.
  • Try using your…hands, feet, arms, legs.
  • Can you hear…the rushing water, the singing birds, the wind?
  • Do you feel…stable on that rock, the heat from the fire?
  • Are you feeling…scared, excited, tired, safe?
  • What’s your plan…if you climb that boulder, cross that log?
  • What can you use…to get across, to help you stable yourself?
  • Where will you…put that rock, climb that tree, dig that hole?
  • How will you…get down, go up, get across?
  • Who will…be with you, go with you, help you if…?

To view the full TED Talk:  “How to Raise a Wild Child” by Scott Sampson https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=Mn4ve9fLsuA
Sampson also wrote a great book on the same topic https://www.amazon.com/How-Raise-Wild-Child-Science/dp/0544705297?tag=teco06-20
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Contributions to the Family

9/15/2023

 
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What if there was a study dedicated to unearthing the secrets to a happy and purposeful life?  In fact, just such a study has been carried for the past seven decades with students at the Harvard Medical School. Starting in 1939, the study examined the childhood events and circumstances that impacted the quality of relationships and happiness in life as the students aged.  Connecting with them every two years, one of the clear messages from this study was that professional success in life comes from having done chores, rolling up one’s sleeves and pitching in to do even the unpleasant things.  Having the attitude of “contributing to the whole” goes a long way in the work place.

The word chores often has a negative connotation for children.  But really, chores are contribution to the family. When we approach it from the point that chores help make the family run, children can feel more important while contributing to the wellbeing of the family. Children need to be needed and learning responsibility through chores builds self-esteem.

Start small with young ones. Preschoolers can help set the table and it provides a good math lesson.  Ask, “How many forks or plates do we need?”  Three and four year old children can carry their own plate and cup over to the sink after a meal.  Kindergartners can help with laundry, folding small towels and match up the socks. It is important to do the tasks together with them and give lots of praise, appreciating their effort.  Don’t tell them what they did wrong.  Model the best way to do it and praise even it is less than perfect.

With older kids, you can make a list of the chores that need to be done and let them have a choice, let them rotating them each week.  One way to help children elementary age and above understand what it takes to make a family run smoothly is to post a large piece of paper on the wall. Ask everyone to contribute by writing down all of the things that keeps the family running.  Leave it there for a few days and make sure to include items like jobs to make the money, shopping for groceries, planning meals, taking the car to the garage, etc.  Then, hold a family meeting and talk about the items on the list.  Discuss who does various jobs and how it is too much for mom and dad.  Everyone is needed to contribute and ideally, discuss how each of the children/youth can help the family

As kids get older, they can handle more responsibility. This is an excellent time for them to learn life skills that they will need when they are on their own like doing laundry, cooking meals, helping with meal planning and grocery shopping, making a budget and planned activities for a family vacation and so much more.  Make sure that they know how important their contributions are and that you couldn’t do it without them. 

Regular chores are not paid. They are contributions to help the family run smoothly.  Being paid for chores robs them of the dignity of holding up their fair share of the family work load.  However, you can have a list of extra chores that they can get paid for--you can even ask them to put in a bid for various task.

Give kids a time period to complete the chores; for instance, have them finished before the soccer game on Saturday morning or before dinner time.  With younger children, ask them would you like to do this before or after dinner? Giving an allowance is important so that they get the real world experience of learning to budget.

​As kids get older, they can have more responsibility & accountability.  If they forget to do their chores, maybe they have to pay you for doing their chores.  This is one reason for them to get an allowance.  Or if they are younger, they can pay with toys or with a chore of your choice before they can do something that they enjoy like watching a show. 

Most importantly, appreciate the effort they are making and connect it with how it helps the family work better together!

Transform the World Through Your Parenting

9/8/2023

 
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Today, almost one-half the world’s population is 25 years old or younger. Ready or not, they will lead our world into the future. Members of Generation Y (Millennials born between 1984-2000) and Generation Z (Centennials born between 2001-2018) are hungry to change the world and as parents, teachers and mentors, we can help them.

Both generations are influenced by less than ideal parenting styles (overparenting, paranoid parenting, permissive parenting, etc.) They also are greatly impacted by the advances in technology:  immediate access to world events often difficult to process, availability creating distractions & addictions, loss of real conversations and relationships, instant gratification expectations, and so much more. Simon Sinek, British-American author, motivational speaker and organizational consultant, summarizes how these challenges impact millennials as they enter the workforce in a Ted Talk here tinyurl.com/y7a9txzz

​Dr. Tim Elmore, president and found of Growing Leaders, is passionate about understand the emerging generation and helping adults—parents, teachers, coaches—teach them how to become leaders in their families, schools, communities and careers. As an author and speaker, Dr. Elmore shares four proven parenting strategies. You can read the whole article here   tinyurl.com/y7jmc2xt

Four Strategies for Parenting Generation Z
By Dr. Tim Elmore, Growing Leaders Ready for Real Life
So, let me suggest some parenting ideas you might use as you lead your kids:

1. Don’t freak out
We need to let our kids take appropriate risks in our “safety first” world. But, when they choose something odd or even crazy, stay calm. Whatever you do—don’t freak out at the seemingly strange decisions teens feel empowered to make today. From tattoos, to piercings, to decisions about friends, to gender fluidity—kids growing up today are living in a very new world. If we don’t react emotionally, but talk to them respectfully, we earn the right to help them think through the long-term implications of their choices. This is our role: wise and steady leadership. Equip them to think long-term; think big-picture, and think high road.

2. Affirm them accurately and specifically
Generation Z kids are privy to the hyperbolic praise Millennials got from parents. Everything was described as “awesome”—even when it really wasn’t. Adult leaders should be thoughtful with their encouragement, praising teens with words that reflect the genuine performance of the teen. They’ll actually believe us if we do. Also, we must affirm “effort”—which is a controllable—instead of what’s uncontrollable. Instead of saying to a female, “You’re gorgeous,” why not say: “I love the strategy you used when you planned your student council campaign. It was spot on.”

3. Be clear about their equations
I discourage having a ton of “rules,” and encourage you to remind kids of life’s “equations.” Equations are simply outcomes for wise or poor behavior: if you do this, that is the benefit; if you do that, this is the consequence. As a result, students begin to learn that life is full of equations. Upon entering adulthood: if you don’t pay your rent, you lose the apartment; if you do pay rent on time, you get to keep it. Such equations will equip Generation Z kids about how the world works. Make the equations clear and be sure to follow up on them.

4. Model consistency
One of the most conspicuously absent elements in our world today is consistency. Nothing seems to be consistent—except inconsistency. Uncertainty is everywhere. Change is happening all the time: couples divorcing; jobs changing; rules are updated; TV shows are terminated…even our Internet connection can be spotty. Parents and teachers must be consistent in their verbal and visual cues. Kids feel secure when consistent leadership is exemplified.
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