​A few weeks ago, I was with my three- and one-half-year-old granddaughter--I have the privilege of spending time with her each week and giving her parents a break. It was a warm day and I had on shorts. She asked me, "Nan, what is that ouchy on your leg?"

Looking down at the permanent purplish mark on my leg that she was gently touching, I replied that it was from an injury from a long time ago that did not go away. Her concern was obvious as she asked me if it hurt, how did it happen and did I need a band-aid. 

Thinking about this conversation after I was back home, I realized that I do not remember how I got this permanent bruise--the medical term for it is an ecchymosis. It means that I got hit on the leg hard enough for it to bleed under the skin, leaving a permanent mark. I have, in fact, two of these on my right leg with no memory of how they happened.

It made me think about how much I have no memory of in my life because I was focused on whatever task I was doing without really being present to those around me and even what I was experiencing. For the past seven years, I have been making effort to become more present to the moment.

There are practices that I have discovered that help me develop self-awareness and presence in my daily life. About seven years, I began practicing yoga. Initially, I joined a yoga studio because it was within walking distance from my house, and I wanted to get exercise and develop more core strength. But I also realized that it helped me to stop my busyness and focus inward. I have a yoga mat in my office area to remind me to stop and spend some time practicing each day.

Meditation is also something that I highly recommend. Meditation is a tool that combines awareness and mindfulness practices. It is known to reduce anxieties, body fat, chronic medical situations, depression, dementia, loneliness, and stress. It also improves one's attention span, sleep, positivity and overall peace of mind.

​There are numerous apps that make it easy to access a meditation whenever we want. Some that I use are Insight Timer, Tapping Solution, Mind Valley, and Headspace. These have both meditations for free and for a fee.

Finding a meditation practice that you feel connected to is important. For some people, walking in nature with the intention of connecting to the beautiful surroundings is the best method. Taking moments out of your day to simple close your eyes and take deep breaths reduces stress and helps to reconnect with your inner self. Another possibility is to take time at the beginning or the end of the day to reflect, meditate and journal. Qigong is form of moving meditation with many health benefits. One that I have practiced is Wisdom Healing Qigong: www.youtube.com/c/MingtongGu but you can search for practices online and in your own community.

If you think that meditation isn’t for you, check out this article that gives even more ideas and options. tinyurl.com/5d5x7vnh Try out different methods of bringing more awareness and presence into your life to find the ones that resonate the most with you.
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Currently, I am combining gardening with my meditative practices. I used to buy plants for my back patio and forget to water them. Now, I am actively working to create a beautiful space where I can relax, meditate, breath and enjoy the fragrant flowers and the vibrant hummingbirds. How well my garden is doing is my litmus test for how I am doing with including presence and self-awareness in my own life.

In a couple of weeks, my husband and I will be celebrating our fortieth anniversary. Reflecting back on this journey that we have traveled together, I am acutely aware that there is no shortcuts to achieving closeness and connection as a couple. Relationships take consistent investment, a commitment to grow together, a willingness to share honestly even when we are scared or hurt, finding ways to practice forgiveness and grace, and discovering unconditional love. ​

As parents and grandparents, one of the most powerful ways that we impact those we love is in how we relate to and treat others--our spouse, our children & grandchildren, our friends and more. Research shows that when children see their parents love each other in a respectful, trustful and positive manner, they have a much better chance of having the same kind of relationship with their future spouse. And the greatest sense of security for a child is the knowledge that his or her parents love each other.

No matter where you are on this journey, it is always worthwhile to make time to invest in your important relationships. I would like to share with you a couple of resources to support your work. As a Prepare Enrich facilitator, one of the first resources I suggest to a couple is a inventory:  tinyurl.com/Relationship-Check  Feel free to use to as a way to begin a conversation with your partner. If you would like to know more about the Prepare Enrich program, Contact Me

A second resource is a four week course beginning on Wednesday, July 5th entitled Relationship Readiness--Transformation of Heart. It is a program presented by Hilde Wiemann, founder of Generational Healing. As a relationship coach who trained under Hilde, I highly recommend this course for engaged couples, individuals looking to prepare for a future marriage as well as those who have been together for a number of years and are looking to deepen their relationship. You can find information and register here: www.generationalhealing.org/relationship-prep

The third Sunday in June is dedicated to honoring fathers and father figures for the sacrifices they make, for embracing the responsibility of nurturing and raising children, and for devotion to their family. It is a well-known fact that Father's Day doesn't get the same attention that Mother's Day does and there are far less cards, chocolates and flowers sold.

If you are trying to think of the best way to honor your dad, how about doing something special together that he enjoys instead of buying a gift? If you don't live nearby, organize a zoom call to share your appreciations with him. Create a short video interviewing family members about their favorite memories or a photo book that everyone can collaborate on. Need some more ideas? Check out these: www.allprodad.com/5-ideas-for-fathers-day-to-honor-your-dad/

For me, I want to reshare a blog post from a few years ago. The photo for this blog is my dad, my husband and three sons, putting together a bird house on one of our visits.
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As a child, Mondays were special days because it meant pancakes for breakfast made by my dad.  Working as a hospital chaplain and the pastor of a Mennonite congregation kept my father quite busy. Mondays were his days off and he developed a whole wheat flour recipe that he mixed up for us the first school day of each week. 

Served with butter and warmed syrup, we enjoyed this weekly treat and it became part of our family tradition.  And if there were some left over, we might have them that evening with some vanilla ice cream sandwiched inside.  As adults, my siblings and I would often request pancakes for breakfast when we visited.

As we are approaching Father’s Day, I have been reflecting on the influence of my father on my life.  Every summer, my dad helped my mom pack us in the car for a day trip to the Oregon coast or a camping trip to Honeyman State Park where we collected sticks and sea shells, built sandcastles and rode the dune buggy on the Oregon Dunes.  My dad helped me appreciate the wonders of nature.

Later when we moved to Kansas, we spent several summers in the Ozarks. I remember once, we were expecting to hear some local musicians perform on the courthouse steps. However, when we arrived at the empty town square, it became clear that we had outdated information.

My dad asked around and eventually found some local musicians gathering nearby to play for their own entertainment.  Being an awkward teenager, I am pretty sure I was lobbying for going straight back to our campsite. But soon we found ourselves seated in some battered folding chairs enjoying the music from a dulcimer, some fiddles, a banjo, a few guitars, a hammered dulcimer and even a couple of cloggers (a type of folk dance.), 

On one of our visits to the Arkansas Ozarks, my dad inquired about how to make a dulcimer and before we headed home, he had purchased plans to build one.  I am the proud owner of one of his ‘limited editions.’ From my dad, I learned the importance of curiosity and not letting shyness get in the way of experiencing life.

From the very beginning of my life, I was influenced by the lifestyle choices of both my father and mother.  I was born in Mathis, a small Texas town near Corpus Christi in a maternity hospital built by volunteers from the Mennonite Church. As the directors of the program, my parents provided leadership, support and meals eaten around a ping pong table.

Through the Mennonite Voluntary Service unit, the local community benefited from having access to the maternity hospital, a kindergarten to help children learn English before starting elementary school, cooking & basketball after school clubs, adult education and more. MVS, started in 1944 as a practical peaceful alternative to serving in the military, continues until today as a way for volunteers make a 1-2 year commitment to make a difference.

​I find the words of American writer Clarence Budington Kelland sum up well what I learned from watching my dad, Millard E. Osborne.  “My father didn’t tell me how to live life; he lived, and let me watch him do it.”

If you are interested in knowing more about the origins of Father's Day: www.almanac.com/content/when-fathers-day