Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "Forests are the lungs of our land, purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our people." Last week, I had the opportunity to spend time in the towering old-growth redwood trees of Muir Woods in Northern California. Named for John Muir, who often wrote about the beauty and value of ancient forests, the park is truly a sanctuary to experience the symbiotic relationship that exists between trees and humans. As I entered the section of the trail called The Cathedral Grove, I was struck how most of us there observed the signs that requested us to Enter Quietly. It was easy to connect with something larger than myself, surrounded by towering trees, many of them over six hundred years old. 

A few days later, I received a newsletter entitled "Breathing With the Forest” from Daily Good--News That Inspires.  www.dailygood.org/  After reading the description in the article (below), I clicked on the link and was immediately transported to an amazing experience in the Amazon Rainforest. If you don't live near a forest or cannot travel there today, take the opportunity to visit through this virtual digital experience.

'Breathing with the Forest' is an immersive digital experience that explores the illusion of separation between us and the rest of the planet, a reminder that “with each breath we exchange parts of ourselves with the wider world.” The Capinuri tree grows in the Amazon River floodplain where the Breathing experience creators photographed and collected three-dimensional scans and audio recordings of the wind, trees, animals, and water. Capturing the individual elements demonstrates the beauty of each individual living object; in relayering them for the experience, however, the creators demonstrate the opportunity available to notice how they interact; an invitation to appreciate the symbiosis of living alongside one another. “Entering the forest, we step out of our separateness to embody something much more than human.”  Click here and make sure to have the sound turned on:
emergencemagazine.org/feature/breathing-with-the-forest/

​As a teenager, I had a mantra of sorts--Life is hard and then you die. Of course, I grew beyond this despondent and depressing outlook on life. However, there are still many times that I resist growth. It is difficult to have hope that I can be more patient, loving, forgiving and joyful. The reality is that growth can be painful, we must acknowledge the wounds, mistakes, and difficult memories of our past. The poet Rumi saw the clear relationship between our wounds and our awakening--our growth. He said, “Don’t turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place. That’s where the light enters you.” The reality is that not to grow is hard and to grow is hard. If it is going to be hard either way, doesn’t it serve us to choose growth?

We have regular opportunities through the relationships with our spouse, children, boss and co-workers, friends, and others to recognize our wounds and pains. Rather than thinking of them as triggers, learn to take a couple of breaths and view these as awakenings to something that needs our attention. If I feel frustrated and angry when my child spills their cereal, leaves the kitchen a mess, or forgets to fill up the car with gas, I can lose my temper and yell. If my spouse or friend says something that feels like criticism, I can respond defensively. Or I can take a step back and consider what is behind my reaction. Did I experience this as a child? Do I hold myself and others to such a high standard that mistakes are not allowed? Do I need some time to care for myself and my needs so that I can be more patient with others?

Choosing growth means that we need to give ourselves space and grace to move into the wounds of our past and allow healing to occur. Learning to see ourselves from God's point of view, acknowledging our intrinsic value and divinity, is an essential part of this journey. If you do not already have meditation practice, I encourage you to start one. There are many forms of meditation including walking in nature, journaling and using guided meditation. I have listed a few resources and past blogs below to support you in choosing growth.

Meditation: insighttimer.com/tiger/guided-meditations/it-s-time-to-grow
Post Blog posts
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​There is a tale about a student who visits a famous Zen master and asks for instruction in the way of Zen Buddhism. The master begins to discuss several topics of Buddhism like emptiness, mindfulness, and meditation.  But the student interrupts the mastersaying, “Oh, I already know that.” The master then invites the student to have some tea. When the tea is ready, the master pours the tea into a teacup, filling it to the brim, spilling tea over the sides of the cup and onto the table. The student exclaims, “Stop! You can’t pour tea into a full cup.” The master replies, “Return to me when your cup is empty.”
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We need to have room in our teacups so we can discover, learn, and grow to experience beyond what we have already in our lives. Presence, awe and wonder can challenge or expand our thinking—allowing us to see beyond what we see on the surface or what our daily habit has become.

​Mindfulness is creating awareness and space in our lives to be present to our surroundings, the people that we interact with and our own emotions and feelings. Making space to be mindful allows us to pay attention to how God and goodness is present in our lives instead of feeling overwhelmed with events of the past, being self-critical or judgmental towards ourselves or others, or stressing about the future.

Recently, I have been participating in a 40 day Mindfulness Daily practice as part of a training. I am amazed at how committing to spend 15 minutes in a guided daily practice can help me to find greater inner peace and recognize the emotions and feelings that I don't notice when I am busy doing life.

During that short time, I can connect with an amazing river of emotions and feelings and with the words in Psalms 139, "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
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I encourage you to check out this free resource with Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach and give mindfulness a place in your daily life.               jackkornfield.com/product/mindfulness-daily/

​I work with a group of coaches who host a monthly "Self-Care Isn't Selfish" webinar series. (See more info at the end of this blog about this series.) You would think that I would be better at taking care of my own needs--physical, emotional, spiritual, relational. And yet, I find that I still need to remind myself to make time each day for meditation, prayer, reflection, conversation and connection. It has been a life-long journey to learn that my own needs matter; when I don't pay attention to this, I get irritated, grumpy, resentful, argumentative and even angry. And the thing that is difficult to admit is that I take it out on those that I care about the most. But it is never too late to make changes in how we live life. Through understanding and taking care of our own needs, we can be better parents, spouses, siblings, children and friends. 

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Below is an excerpt from the chapter in my book entitled, "The Gift of Being the Best Parent You Can Be.
I want to convey that it is never too late to heal the past! No matter where you are on this life journey, just find the next step. In this chapter, I will share resources that can support you as you navigate this process. And I want to commend you for your courage of being willing to face that which blocks you from being your best self and parent. For me, I will always be a wounded healer, but I can reach back to help others as I step forward.

Through this process of healing myself, I discovered my passion for working with others as they focus on healing their relationships and their families. Over and over, I am reminded that healing is a process of being intentional; it begins with becoming more present to ourselves, and involves peeling back layer after layer to discover our true self. Being willing to do this rewarding but often challenging work is an essential starting point. This journey may last the rest of your life as you discover the wounds that need healing, learn to use tools that uncover both the pain and the possibilities, find better ways of connecting with family and friends, and enjoy greater happiness and satisfaction. 

It is important to find support as you navigate this process. This support may come in a parents’ group, individual or group therapy, or studying one of the books that I recommend here and at the end of this chapter. There are many resources available online or in your local community. Learning meditation, Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping), yoga, qigong or other mindful practices can help you become more self-aware.

I recommend Recovery of Your Inner Child, by Dr. Lucia Capaccione, as a resource to guide you through the steps to become aware of who your inner child is. It provides safe, firsthand experiences through a variety of creative art activities that can be done individually or in a group. Dr. Capacchione says, “For us to be fully human, the Child Within must be embraced and expressed. . . . Inside every adult, there is a child crying, ‘Let me out.’” 

The concept of the Inner Child may be new to you. When asked how we know that our Inner Child is present, Dr. Capacchione answered, “When we have feelings. The Inner Child is the emotional self. It is where our feelings live. When you experience joy, sadness, anger, fear or affection, your Child Within is coming out.”  

Limiting beliefs live in our emotions, and they are our mind’s way of saving us in dangerous or difficult situations when we were little. When we experienced an emotionally challenging situation as a young child, our mind looked for a way to help and save us. Children can absorb overwhelming emotions without logically understanding them; the limiting belief becomes the interpretation to make sense of it. When we are not aware of the limiting beliefs and painful memories that we hold onto, our ability to nurture and love can be inhibited. The emotions are still there, trying to get our attention when we feel anxious, stressed, and feeling overwhelmed at work or with our children.

Healing of the Inner Child begins by recognizing and experiencing our own child. Often, recurring emotional and physical issues in adulthood are signs that our Inner Child is trying to be heard. Since the 1980s, the need for this kind of healing has been recognized by psychologists who used Voice Dialogue and recovery groups as they worked toward the roots of addictions and mental health challenges. 

“Experts have estimated that ninety-five percent of the population received inadequate parenting. . . . Almost all of us have some Inner Child healing to do, says Dr. Capacchione.  The good news is that there are many tools available to support us in reparenting ourselves. Through our relationship with our child, we can become aware of triggers or issues that are unresolved, but it is important to understand that we are the only ones who can do our own work.

Stefanie Stahl, German psychologist, author, and presenter, has another great resource on the inner child. Her book, The Child in You: The Breakthrough Method for Bringing Out Your Authentic Self is now available in English—originally written in German in 2015. Her approach focuses on making friends with our inner child. By doing this, we can discover amazing ways to resolve conflicts, make our relationships happier, and find answers to almost any problem. Dr. Stahl states that only when we befriend our inner child can we recognize the unmet childhood needs and scars that we carry inside us. Her book offers many insights and methods of recognizing old patterns and developing new attitudes and behaviors to support healthier relationships.

Self-Care Isn't Selfish/past webinars: www.youtube.com/channel/UCjNse0OLKMACp0LknHIbdFA
​Register for Saturday, May 13 at 10 am PT:  tinyurl.com/Self-Care-May-2023

​Recently, I attended a retreat focused on the inner work needed to become unconditionally loving. It gave me the opportunity to reflect on my journey over the past seven years of moving from surviving to thriving. I will be sharing some of that journey here and in upcoming blogs. If you would like support on your own path, I invite you to visit my coaching page: Coaching With Myrna                                 
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Most days find us juggling too much, and just trying to get through the day becomes our goal. So, how do we become more present to those we care about the most? It starts with being more connected to ourselves and shining the light on the path in front of us. Recognizing that we cannot change the past but that we can impact our future, we need to acknowledge those moments when we need support. Asking for help, learning to forgive ourselves for our shortcomings, and making time for reflection will serve us best as we move bravely forward into unexplored regions.

Becoming aware of what is blocking or hindering us is a key place to start—whether it is limiting beliefs, a difficult childhood, a traumatic event, or habits cultivated over many years. Realizing that our parents did the best they could, we can begin to look at what is helpful from our past, and what we need to release because it is not serving our best interests. With patience and understanding when looking in the mirror of self-awareness, we can fold back the layers of who we have become to discover who we really want to be.

For me, the awareness that I am holding on to unnecessary baggage began a long time ago, but I fought it tooth and nail, always falling back into what I knew—the familiarity of “doing.” I got my value from being responsible and getting things done, even though it was often from a place of duty. But in 2015, my husband and I moved to Georgia for his work, and I found myself without all the “doer hats” that I had been wearing.

I struggled to find what I was supposed to “do.” I read many books including Who Moved My Cheese? and What Color is Your Parachute? I did a lot of crying, praying, and meditating. Finding a nearby yoga studio gave me the opportunity to become more self-aware and taught me incredible lessons about learning to be more flexible and to let things flow. Joining a community band allowed me to reconnect with the love and joy of creating music with others while playing my flute.

​Having some close friends and finding a coach with whom I could share honestly and feel supported and accepted helped tremendously. Reading the Real Love books by Dr. Greg Baer allowed me to understand that in order to be heard, seen, and loved for who I am, I need to recognize that the masks that I have worn to hide the pain no longer are serving me, and find ways to uncover the real me—warts and all. I discovered qigong, tapping, inner child work, the power of small groups (both in-person and over the internet), and so much more.

 All of us have people in our lives that we do our best to care for. Many of us are in the habit of putting ourselves last in terms of caring for our own needs. I work with a group of coaches who host a monthly webinar entitled, "Self-Care Isn't Selfish." Most of us are also members of Women's Federation for World Peace and feel inspired to combine our healing work with the vision of WFWP:  Women working together to establish a culture of heart in the family, community, nation, and world in order to achieve genuine and sustainable peace under God. If you would like to know more about WFWP, visit their website here: https://www.wfwp.us/

The reality is that all of us, especially women, mothers, and grandmothers, find it hard to give themselves permission to take time for relaxation, meditation, visiting with friends, exercise and more.  These webinars give education, tools, and skills to support everyone to take better care of themselves and those they love. 

The guest speaker for September, family coach Kendra Stein, said that we need to understand the difference between Self-Care and Self-Love. She said that no matter how much time we spend on pedicures, vacations, and lunch with friends, we need to understand how to connect with God/a higher power to Find the God Within. Sharing her own personal journey of discovering self-love, Kendra guided participants to look under the masks that we wear to hide our pain and wounding and begin to heal and re-parent ourselves by gaining awareness, seeking help, and getting curious instead of angry. You can watch the presentation here:  https://youtu.be/851HrswCQGg

To view others recordings of the monthly webinars, visit:   www.youtube.com/channel/UCjNse0OLKMACp0LknHIbdFA