 The culture of the home that we grow up in impacts our ability to connect and relate to others--classmates, teachers, friends, bosses, co-workers, partners, and our own children. If during our childhood, we experienced our parents interacting with kindness, respect, and love, most likely, we have learned these skills ourselves. If, however, we didn't experience this type of home environment, we may not know how to do this with our family and friends. Living together is an art. Even with the best of intentions, we can cause others to feel unhappy.
Through being intentional, we can learn the art of creating happiness in our relationships. It begins with mindfulness and self-awareness. In fact, the practice of mindfulness is said to be the practice of love itself. Thich Nhat Hanh, Vietnamese monastic, and peace activist, was often called the Father of Mindfulness and is credited as one of the key figures who brought Buddhism to the west. He said that he would like to create a one-year program for individuals before they get married. For a whole year, the students would practice looking deep within to discover all that exists there—their flowers and their compost—developed from their own choices, what they gained from their family and society experiences and what they inherited from their ancestors. He said, "If people don't take time to come to know themselves well and untie their internal knots, when they enter into a relationship with another person, their union will be difficult." Starting with our own awareness, we can begin to recognize the knots that need to be untangled. It isn't easy to look at our own negative feelings and we often create elaborate defense mechanisms to deny their existence. But it is actually a blessing when they surface because we can recognize that we need to pay attention to them. As we practice the art of mindful living together, we can learn to help untie each other's knots. I will be sharing over the next four weeks a four-step process of restoring connection and communication--untangling the knots within ourselves and with our partner and children. The concepts come from a book entitled "Beginning Anew" by Sister Chan Khong. In the meantime, feel free to read several previous blogs that I have written on related topics. begin-anew-today.html a-new-way-to-experience-life.html Comments are closed.
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