Doing Hard Things--More On Resilience

Previously, I wrote about Dr. Angela Lee Duckworth and her insightful research on the role that Grit plays in our success in life and how we can cultivate it in our families. how-to-cultivate-resilience.html

A practice that Dr. Duckworth and her family live by is the “Hard Thing Rule.”  It’s an easy concept. Everyone in the family including Mom and Dad chooses a hard thing, something that requires “daily deliberate practice.” It can be anything one chooses to do—yoga, running, piano, soccer, ballet, mountain climbing—it just must be something that’s challenging and is interesting enough to continue for a set amount of time.

You can quit your hard thing if you change your mind, but you must stick with it until a natural stopping point, like the end of a semester or after the tuition runs out. In other words, you can’t quit on a bad day just because it was hard; you have to see it through to a reasonable end. It has three parts:

1. Everyone in the family has to do something that's hard.
2. You have to finish what you start.
3. No one gets to pick the hard rule for anyone else.

What would it look like for your family to take on this challenge? Talk about it at your next family meeting the-power-of-weekly-family-time.html Hear Dr. Duckworth talk about her experience with the Hard Thing Rule:  globalleadership.org/videos/leading-yourself/the-hard-thing-rule?locale=en

Another way to build resilience might surprise you--video games. Dr. Jane McGonigal is embracing technology for the sake of improving the lives of kids, youth, and adults. She is a world-renowned designer of alternate reality games—or games that are designed to improve real lives and solve real problems. Believing that game designers are on a humanitarian mission, her number one goal in life is to see a game developer win a Nobel Peace Prize.

Dr. McGonigal specializes in games that challenge players to tackle real-world problems, such as poverty, hunger, and climate change, through planetary-scale collaboration. Her game “SuperBetter” helps players tackle health challenges such as depression, anxiety, chronic pain, and traumatic brain injury. The online game for ages thirteen and up builds resilience—the ability to stay strong, motivated, and optimistic even in the face of change and difficult challenges. Playing “SuperBetter” unlocks heroic potential to overcome tough situations and achieve goals that matter most. Check out her website: www.superbetter.com/

If you enjoyed this excerpt from "The Gift of Resilience", consider purchasing my book. Find out more here: 7 Gifts to Give Your Child

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