Love My Neighbor As Myself

Many of us struggle with our own worthiness, not feeling that we are enough as a parent, partner, child, or friend. Spouses, parents, and teachers often contribute to this by point out mistakes, what is missing or lacking. Many faith traditions include beliefs that it is more blessed to give than receive--be selfless, not selfish which can leave us wondering how we are to do this. For many years, I have searched to understand how to love my neighbor as myself.

These words, known as "The Golden Rule", come from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount. There are versions of this in most faith traditions. When I was a teacher, I adapted this as the basic class guideline--treat others the way that you want to be treated. And yet, I think that we often miss the point that we are to love and treat others as we treat ourselves. As I have explored this in my own life, I realized that often I didn't love myself very much; sometimes, I didn't even like myself at all. 

Below are some of the realizations that I have had on my personal healing journey:

• Start with recognizing the limiting beliefs and attitudes that I have--I cannot change what I am not aware of.
• Realize that this is my life's work--it isn't easily fixed but it is essential and important.
• Many of the beliefs that we have about ourselves come from the early years of life. It is so important that children from birth to 6 years old have parents, caregivers and teachers who nurture and love them unconditionally.
• And yet, most of us didn't have enough unconditional love as children. It is difficult to give what we haven't received, but it is never too late.
• As an adult, I need to be responsible for my own healing. It isn't healthy to simply dwell on my resentments and anger; I need to move from feeling like a victim to finding a path forward. 
• I am learning to be enough even when I mess-up, make mistakes and fall short. It has taken having honest conversations, moving beyond the anger, finding loving, supportive people and groups to be a part of, forgiving myself and others and making consistent, daily effort to move from surviving to thriving.

 
If any of this resonates with you, I encourage you to find your next step forward on your own healing journey. On my website, you can find resources and info about my coaching programs. www.coachmyrna.org/coaching.html I have made my own version of an Emotional Freedom Technique/Tapping video that has helped me.
​Tapping video "I Am Enough":   youtu.be/dwfotycdCmY