 I recently spent the day at a beautiful Maui beach on vacation with family. As I made my way into the water, it was a struggle to navigate with waves break around my knees pulling me towards the shore and the receding water underneath pulling my feet back towards the ocean. Finally, I reached the deeper water and was able to float effortlessly, rising with the swelling waves instead of wrestling with them.
As I relaxed and looked around, I noticed a school of small fish swim by and a sea turtle raise its head out of the water to breathe. A young child, supported by a parent, was learning to ride a surfboard into the shore. Off in the distance, a sailboat glided along. I reflected on the strength of the ocean. The ocean isn’t something to control but we can find ways to cooperate with the ocean's power—like the surfers we had seen the day before. Learning to respect this power is important for anyone living and working near an ocean. If I am honest with myself, I’ve spent a lot of energy trying to control things in my life that weren’t meant to be controlled—people, situations, relationships, circumstances, and more. How about you? What relationship comes to mind—your child, your partner, maybe a boss or co-worker, or how about a parent or in-law? When was the last time you struggled with a frustrating situation at work, on a committee or during a family vacation when things just weren’t working? There are some things that have helped me to learn to let go of this need to control. First, I am learning to not take things personally. Usually, people are doing the best they can. When others overreact, it isn’t just to me but to a lifetime of pain and wounding. Studying and practicing Real Love with intentional small groups has given me the support and safety to discover my own wounding and begin to heal. Secondly, learning the tools of Safe Conversations has helped me become a better listener as well as find ways to communicate my own needs calmly and with respect. Also, I have discovered practices that support me letting go of the need to control—Emotional Freedom Technique, Mindfulness, Inner Child work, Ho’oponopono, journaling, meditation and more. As a coach and educator, I use all of these tools to help others work towards a happier life. Still reflecting, I made my way back toward the beach. Suddenly, I found myself knocked off balance by a wave and landed face down in the sand. Before I could get up, I was on my back, flipped over like a pancake by an aggressive cook. It was a good reminder that I need to be present to the work of continuing to find greater balance in my life. And because I have been working on letting things go that I can’t control, I got up with a smile and as much grace as I could muster. If you would like to know more about what I offer as a coach, click here: Coaching Find out more about Safe Conversations and considering signing up for the next workshop on Saturday, November 13th. Click here: Safe Conversations Comments are closed.
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