Showing Up

Recently, I saw a social media post that said, “Parenting today is like juggling, but all of the balls are screaming.” The world that you are raising your child in today has changed tremendously over the past twenty years. 

Technology has changed our world forever. Kids, youth, and young adults today do not know a world without cellphones and other forms of media. These developments in technology connects them to news and trends instantaneously, significantly affecting and shaping their worldview. Events happening around the world are quickly available to us, which can impact our feelings of anxiety and fear. This onslaught of information is unprecedented in human history, and something that we all must learn how to navigate with discernment.
 
As an increasingly global community, we often live far from extended families and the support they could offer. More households have both parents working, which adds additional pressure as they juggle work, school, family, and community. A much higher percentage of single/separated/divorced parents are navigating new challenges on their parenting journey. These added complexities can leave many families feeling overwhelmed and uncertain.

The thing that hasn’t changed is that the most important component in raising a healthy, happy child is your connection with them. This integral connection of parent and child is the root and building block for your child’s future.

In their new book, The Power of Showing Up, Dr. Daniel Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson say, “Showing up means bringing your whole being—your attention and awareness—when you’re with your child. When we show up, we are mentally and emotionally present for our child in that moment.” 

The connection you create when you “show up” is at the heart of your relationship with your child. Connection is the energy that is created between us and them. It allows them to feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure. 

Dr. Siegel and Dr. Bryson explain further that “Showing up isn’t the goal of parenting. Rather it is the means by which you move toward your desired outcome. The actual goal is what’s called secure attachment.”  The benefits of secure attachment of children to their parents are huge—higher self-esteem and empathy, better ability to cope with challenges, and happier and better relationships. How do you develop it with your child? By showing up.

We do not have to be perfect parents, never losing our cool. Nor do we need to read all the parenting bestsellers or sign our kids up for the right enrichment classes. We simply need to be present. 

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