Coach Myrna
  • Home
  • Coaching With Myrna
  • 7 Gifts Webinar
  • Blog
  • Contact Me
  • Prepare Enrich
  • Safe Conversations

​

​

On our journey in life, the most profound thing that we can offer others--partners,
children, parents, friends, co-workers, bosses, neighbors--
is our own healing and
​growth towards being a more loving person.
​

What Kind of Parent Do You Want To Be?

8/2/2019

 
Picture
(Adapted from Love and Logic Parenting) www.loveandlogic.com/

​
DRILL SERGEANT 
This parent commands and directs the lives of children through the following methods:

1. Provides messages of low personal worth and resistance 
2. Makes lots of demands and has lots of expectations about responsibility 
3. Tells the child how he/she should handle responsibility 
4. Tells the child how he/she should feel 
5. Provides absolutes: “This is the decision you should make!” 
6. Demands that jobs or responsibilities be done now 
7. Issues orders and threats: “You get that room cleaned up or else…” 
8. Takes over the ownership of the problem using threats and orders to solve the problem 
9. Uses lots of harsh words and very few actions 
10. Uses punishment, pain and humiliation to serve as the teacher
   
HELICOPTER PARENT 
This parent hovers over children and rescues them from the hostile world in which they live through the following methods:

1. Provides messages of weakness and low personal worth 
2. Makes excuses for the child, but complains about mishandled responsibilities
3. “Takes on” the responsibility of the child 
4. Protects the child from any possible negative feelings 
5. Makes decisions for the child 
6. Provides no structure, but complains, “After all I’ve done for you…” 
7. Whines and uses guilt: “When are you ever going to learn. I always have to clean up after you.” 
8. Complains about having an irresponsible child who causes “me” much work and responsibility 
9. Uses lots of words and actions that rescue or indicate that the child is not capable or responsible 
10. Protects child from natural consequences and uses guilt as the teacher   
 
CONSULTANT PARENT 
The consultant parent provides guidance and consultant services for children by: 

1. Providing messages of personal worth and strength
2. Seldom mentioning responsibilities 
3. Demonstrating how to take care of one’s self and be responsible 
4. Sharing personal feelings about own performance and responsibilities 
5. Providing and helping the child explore alternatives and then allowing the  child to make his/her own decision 
6. Providing “time frames” in which child may complete responsibilities
7. Modeling doing a good job, finishing, cleaning up, feeling good about it 
8. Asking one’s self, “Who owns the problem?” and helping the child explore solutions to his/her problem 
9. Using lots of actions, but very few words 
10. Allowing the child to experience life’s natural consequences and allows them to serve as the teacher
 
God gave all of us free will and that includes the opportunity to mess up.  Failure and Success are two sides of the same coin. Drill sergeant and helicopter parents take away the opportunity for children to make choices and to learn from their mistakes. We increase the odds of raising resilient individuals by guiding our children with lots of empathy and natural consequences. 
 
For more on this, see my earlier blog: https://www.coachmyrna.org/coachmyrna-blog/archives/09-2018


Comments are closed.

    Categories

    All
    Being A Grandparent
    Celebrating Holidays
    Coaching
    Communication
    Community
    Digital Age Parenting
    Healing Ourselves
    Life Goals
    Parenting
    Relationship
    Self-Care
    Teens/young Adults
    The Brain

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    November 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018

Home

Coaching With Myrna

Blog

7 Gifts Webinar

Safe Conversations ​
Copyright © 2023
  • Home
  • Coaching With Myrna
  • 7 Gifts Webinar
  • Blog
  • Contact Me
  • Prepare Enrich
  • Safe Conversations