The Power of Connection

Many years ago, American novelist and college professor Toni Morrison was on the Oprah Winfrey Show to launch her book The Bluest Eye. During the conversation, Oprah asked her to talk about the messages we give our children.

Ms. Morrison explained that it’s interesting to watch what happens when a child walks into a room. She asked, “Does your face light up?”

​She went on to explain, “When my children used to walk in the room when they were little, I looked at them to see if they had buckled their trousers or if their hair was combed or if their socks were up. You think your affection and your deep love is on display because you’re caring for them. It’s not. When they see you, they see the critical face--What’s wrong now? Instead, let your face speak what’s in your heart. When they walk in the room, my face says I’m glad to see them. It’s just as small as that, you see?”

Dr. Brené Brown said after many years of research, “I am sure of one thing: Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. . . . Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement.”

Intuitively, we already sense what we need in order to feel emotionally fulfilled and happy. We see evidence of it in the unifying theme of most literature, movies, songs, magazines, and even commercial advertisements. More than anything else, what we all need is love, relationship, and connection.

Scientific studies have demonstrated that from early childhood, our brains are molded by love and connection. Without it, infants literally die, even though their basic needs are met. Later in life, those lacking connection experience higher rates of heart disease, diabetes, dementia, depression, accidents, addictions, and suicide. In fact, loss of connection is the cause of emotional wounding which can lead to anxiety, self-absorption, and loss of empathy. The lack of feeling connected to others is part of the core human problem resulting in mistrust, lack of empathy for others, conflict and more.

As a Safe Conversations workshop facilitator, I help individuals, couples and families communicate and connect. We are all meant to be connecting as couples, families, social institutions, and communities. Connecting is how we find joy, satisfaction and happiness. The good news is that relationship skills can be taught—we can all learn to reconnect with those most important to us!

If you would like to create greater connection in your relationships, consider joining the upcoming 7-week series Building Connection in Relationships. Beginning on Monday, June 20, I will be facilitating a small group using the tools of  Love, Safe Conversations, Inner Child and more. To learn more:  https://www.coachmyrna.org/buildconnection.html.

If you are interested to discover what a coaching session involves, learn more here:  https://www.coachmyrna.org/coaching.html

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